Achievement and Progress

	NEW PERFECTIONIST: Korey Sufka was in and out of Minnesota correctional facilities 20 times before reclaiming his life with his family. He said he wants to set a better example for his daughter, Kalileigh. Picture Provided by John Linn at Advenure Creative Group

My daughter asked me one day out of the blue, ‘Dad, is anyone perfect?’ She then looked at me without missing a beat and said, ‘I think you’re perfect.’”

Korey Sufka recalled the words of his now seven-year-old daughter, Kaileigh.He knew he was far from perfect. Having been on a whirlwind tour of Minnesota county jails and the Lino Lakes Correctional Facility, for everything from domestic assault, to theft and check forgery, he had been largely absent from his daughter’s life.

His actions, he later theorized, were in retaliation of his father. A bitter divorce and feelings of abandonment left him without a male role model. Falling in with a crowd who lived outside the rules, Sufka chose a path that would land him in jail or prison twenty separate times.

“I felt like my dad was never there for me, yet in those times of loneliness I was thinking, ‘I’m not there for my daughter either,’” he said. “I had an epiphany—the guy I thought I hated the most was the man I was turning into. I certainly didn’t want my daughter using drugs when she was 16 or 17, because her dad was always in jail or prison.”

Indeed, Sufka’s fears were not unfounded. Research shows that a child’s risk of criminal involvement may increase up to six-fold when he or she has a parent who has been incarcerated.

“Unfortunately, children repeat the behaviors they see and are exposed to,” said Lee Buckley, Community Re-Entry Coordinator for the Minnesota Department of Corrections.

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“I had an epiphany—the guy I thought I hated the most was the man I was turning into.”
- Korey Sufka
 

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John Smith, former director of the Central Minnesota Re-Entry Project (CMNRP), has seen the trend firsthand. “There are a lot of guys coming in for services that are from families with long criminal histories,” he said. “It’s inevitable. We can almost predict the percentage of their kids that are going to have some relationship with the criminal justice system.”

With nearly ten million children nationwide experiencing the loss Are Children Condemned to Repeat Criminal Cycles? of a parent due to incarceration, the generational cycle of crime makes for a bleak outlook. In general, experts suggest that children have a wide range of responses to this trauma, including anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, aggression and violence.

“The way family systems work is that they perpetuate behaviors.Those systems are extremely difficult to break out of even when you’re trying to,” said Dr. Michael Robertson, a St. Cloud area psychologist who has worked extensively with children and their parents who have been incarcerated.

“Incarceration can create a disruption of the family,” he added. “The issues are different than what might be seen in the rest of the population. I think those things have a big impact on kids.”

Today, Korey Sufka is the mentor program coordinator for the CMNRP. By all accounts, he has managed to break the cycle. He recalls the message he brings to incarcerated parents.

“I tell them that our kids view us as perfect people, so our actions give them their definition of what perfect is. We as parents need to understand that if we are developing their impressions of perfect, we need to do some major soul searching and look at our actions.”

In addition to re-entry programs that offer parenting classes, most agree more needs to be done to reach out to the children. The Council on Crime and Justice suggests putting in place community awareness programs and support groups similar to those for military families. They also emphasize the importance of providing children with role models in the absence of an incarcerated parent.

Despite the statistics, however, Sufka contends that no child—especially his own—is condemned to follow the missteps of her parent. “There is a large group of people who have beaten the odds,” he said. “It doesn’t matter how you were conditioned, you can make a change.” IQ Magazine

A PORT success story—from powerless to purpose

By Meg Douglas Brainerd Port Group Homes Article Published October 30th, 2009

Korey Sufka was a sad and angry 15-year-old when placed at PORT. His parents had divorced and he'd been moved from the comfort of his small town, to a larger city apartment, where he knew no one. Finding friends wasn't easy. He latched onto a group who weren't making good decisions, landed at PORT, lost his mother and lived an addictive life style that was leading him in the wrong direction. Now 32, Korey is a mentor program coordinator for Central Minnesota Re-Entry Project in St. Cloud, Minnesota, founder of the POWERLESS TO PURPOSE Foundation and the non-profit PROVIDING A PURPOSE, Korey is also one of Minnesota's best motivational speakers. His website: www.KoreySufka.com, lists schools, churches and youth organizations where he speaks a message of redemption and hope.

Korey Sufka was one of three recovering meth addicts that spoke to those attending the “Life After Meth” event held at the Little Falls Community High School, presented by the Central Minnesota Re-Entry Project. Community learns there is 'Life After Meth' By Terry Lehrke Morrison County Record Article Published October 16th, 2009  Meth is a monster, it's a dragon and according to three recovering addicts, it's the biggest contributor to crime today. Three recovering meth addicts, one from Central Minnesota, one from Missouri and another from Tennessee, told their gut-wrenching stories Monday at the Little Falls Community High School. All three say that when one follows the cause of crime, meth addiction is the major cause, no matter where one lives. The "Life After Meth" event was presented by the Central Minnesota Re-entry Project (CMNRP), a non-profit created to assist ex-offenders transform their lives through mentoring, resources and community partnerships. Korey Sufka spoke about growing up in a broken home in Central Minnesota and being incarcerated more than 20 times before overcoming his addiction. Sufka is actively involved in helping others recover from the horrors of meth addiction through his Powerless To Purpose Foundation. Sufka's Web site is www.KoreySufka.com. Missouri native Steve Box told how he gave up a promising sports career and a division one college football scholarship, because of his involvement in dealing and using meth. Box said he was haunted about the damage he has done and the danger involved with getting out of the dealing side of his addiction. Death threats and intimidation are common to his family. Box's story can be found on his Web site at www.methequalssorcery.com. From his hospital bed, David Parnell promised his wife he would tell his story to others. At the time, Parnell was recovering from a self inflicted gun shot to the face, a suicide attempt that left him with a disfigurement that helps drive home his story. Child abuse is a prevalent outcome of meth addiction and a focus of Parnell's story. He told of and showed pictures of several children that suffered from their parents' addiction. Parnell's Web site is www.facingthedragon.org. Sponsors of the event were the Morrison County Citizens Methamphetamine Task Force, Haven Road Recovery Center, Recovery Plus, Spirit 92.9 Radio, Stars for Children's Mental Health, Breitenfeldt Health Insurance and Life in Recovery. The CMNRP has received a matching grant and seeks donations and volunteers to help fight meth in area neighborhoods. Call (320) 656-9004 for details.

Korey Sufka Steve Box Three speakers, one purpose: to educate and motivate Former addicts share real-life reasons to make good choices By Terry Lehrke Morrison County Record Article Published August 17th, 2010  Korey Sufka said he dislikes being described as a "former addict." But that is the very reason the former Royalton resident is qualified to speak to young people about why they should live their lives well, and without chemicals. "I don't really like having that associated with my name - there's more to Korey than being an addict," said Sufka, who has been clean since 2005. "I'm a dad, mentor program coordinator, friend, good employee and I'm a motivational speaker. I motivate people to make good choices - and speak about how we can live better lives." Since then, his mission has become helping others who have made the same mistakes learn to make better choices, and to help young people avoid those choices altogether. Steve Box is from Pierce City, Mo., and had an excellent chance for a football career - until he got addicted to meth. Since beating his addiction, Box has authored several books that are available in many countries around the world. These books include "Meth = Sorcery" and "The Leviathon." He leads his own ministry called Steve Box Ministries, that is dedicated to helping people with addictions, focusing on methamphetamine. David Parnell is from Dresden, Tenn. He uses his near-fatal suicide attempt - a shot to his face, literally blowing his face apart with an SKS assault rifle - as an example of the reality of addiction. Sufka said Parnell was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital, before lapsing into a coma. Parnell's Web site: www.facingthedragon.org, tells some of the story of this methamphetamine and suicide survivor. Parnell, sober after 23 years of addiction, speaks across the country, in Canada and in England. Sufka currently works with the Central Minnesota Re-entry Project (CMNRP), and together with Parnell and Box, will be in Little Falls to share their stories in a program called "Life After Meth" - and to do what they have all set out to do - educate and motivate people to live their best lives and to make the choice not to use drugs of any kind. "I talk about the importance of creating healthy habits, friendships and relationships," said Sufka. "We want parents to be present with their children, so that they hear some of the things we may suggest. Our main focus is prevention - prevention is huge. "It would be awesome to see parents come out with their kids, to talk about things that parents struggle with talking to their kids about," said Sufka. "Basically, it will be a night of educating the community about prevention and awareness." They will speak at the Little Falls Community High School auditorium Monday, Oct. 12, from 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. Sufka said a "meet and greet" session will take place for a half-hour before the session begins. Books and CDs will be available. Also offering information, Sufka noted, will be Commissioner Rich Collins and Mike Podtburg of Little Falls, who will talk about what's been done in Morrison County through the Morrison County Citizens Methamphetamine Task Force. Sufka pointed out that sponsors for the event include this task force, as well as Haven Road Recovery Center, LLC, and Life in Recovery, both in Little Falls, Recovery Plus/CentraCare Health System in St. Cloud, Stars for Children for Mental Health, Spirit 92.9 and Breitenfeldt Health Insurance. Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for students and youths, and can be ordered by calling (320) 656-9004. More information is available at www.cmnrp.org/Life_After_Meth.html Proceeds from the event will go toward CMNRP, which serves 10 counties including Morrison, Crow Wing, Stearns, Benton, Sherburne, Mille Lacs and a few others, Sufka said.

Royalton students gathered around Korey Sufka Feb. 5, a Royalton native who spoke to the students about his story of addiction and redemption, with a message about the importance of making good choices, as well as the impact of bad choices. The next day, students learned in a dramatic fashion the impact of a bad choice, when their superintendent, Dr. John Franzoia was killed by a drunk driver. Pictured are students who posed with Sufka, front row (from left): Kristine Godacz and Dellie Lies. Second row: Kayla Gottwalt, Lisa Justin, Sufka, Brooke Bursch and Brooke Duevel. Back row: Zach Lanners, Jesse Baggenstoss, Mitchell Popp and Cody Costello. Sufka's talk about the effects of choices, hits home in Royalton Point is demonstrated by Franzoia’s death By Terry Lehrke Morrison County Record Article Published February 12th, 2009    Korey Sufka, a former Royalton resident and student, returned to his hometown Feb. 5. He spoke at Royalton High School to tell students his story, which includes redemption and the importance of making positive choices. And, the consequences of making harmful choices, not only for themselves, but for others. His words about the effects of these choices would ring true the very next evening, Feb. 6, when Royalton superintendent, Dr. John Franzoia, was killed in a car driven by Dale Matthies, who allegedly chose to drive drunk. "It affects tons of people's lives, the most noticeably the 675 Royalton students and the staff who were affected by Franzoia's death, because some guy chose to drink and drive," said Sufka. "Not to mention the people who have encountered Mr. Franzoia over the years. It's changed thousands of lives." Sufka spoke to the students about death being permanent, and encouraged them to discover and use the talents, gifts and abilities to help others live better lives. "That's what life is all about." He considered Franzoia "an amazing individual." Sufka said he hopes the students he spoke to in Royalton turn the situation into a positive, "To apply the passion and the dedication that Franzoia had - into their everyday lives. He was passionate about making Royalton the best school." Sufka has been speaking for several years, after realizing that he had a gift to help people. He has founded the Dads Against Meth-Amphetamine Go Educate (DAMAGE) Foundation, which offers scholarships to students in central Minnesota the opportunity to receive treatment for issues pertaining to drug/alcohol abuse, and speaks at rehabilitation facilities, churches and schools. Before he spoke to the Royalton students, Sufka said Franzoia made it a point to tell him he was proud of the work Sufka was doing, and had been following his progress. "It a blessing that I had a chance to talk with him. His encouraging words to me will motivate me to take the POWERLESS TO PURPOSE program to another level," said Sufka. Find out more about Sufka's personal story and the work done through the POWERLESS TO PURPOSE Foundation, by visiting his website at:  www.KoreySufka.com.

Mother's death compelled Korey to help others...

Korey Sufka and his daughter, Kaileigh, 6.

By Rhoda Fukushima Twin Cities Pioneer Press Article Published November 23rd, 2008.

Korey Sufka's memories of growing up in Royalton are good ones. He was the youngest of three children. His family lived in a big house with a huge yard. Sufka enjoyed baseball, football and wrestling. When he was 11, his mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. When he was in seventh grade, his parents divorced. Sufka and his mom moved into an apartment in a different city. It was a difficult adjustment.

"There was only one other kid in my grade who lived in an apartment. I was embarrassed. I was sad. I felt ashamed. I felt mad and angry. My mom and dad got my brother and sister their first jobs, helped them with college. I felt both forgot they still had a son to raise.

"Right away, I tried to find friends. I wasn't accepted. I was the 'new kid' at school. I gravitated toward other people who came from broken families. I felt they were more accepting.

"My mom's death was the most important and worst day in my life. My mom's spirit surrounds me and is the reason I do what I do today. I'm not a Bible banger, but I believe in God. My faith got me through the difficult times in my life. Being a Christian or believing in God doesn't mean you don't have trials or tribulations."

"Before my mom died, I started to read a lot of books. I still do. I read a lot of self-help books — Donald Trump, Dan Millman, Chuck Swindoll. I realized that I had to reprogram my mind and apply the lessons to my life.

"I got a job with the Central Minnesota Re-Entry Project in May. We help individuals coming back to communities after jail, prison. I am the mentor program coordinator."

"I also started the D.A.M.A.G.E. Foundation— Dads Against Meth-Amphetamine Go Educate. I have huge plans for it and love helping others live better lives. I would like to give other people opportunities to share their stories. It's the pay-it-forward mentality."

"Today, I'm excited about life! I go around the country to talk about good choices verses bad choices. We have to acknowledge that kids make mistakes and that kids can have a healthy relationship with their parents. Good communication is the most important thing. That is one of many topics I cover through the POWERLESS to PURPOSE program I developed.

"My daughter, Kaileigh, is 6 years old. I want to make the relationship (with her mother) right. We've been together nearly 8 years and I have no desire to be with anyone else. Without Mary and Kaileigh in my life, especially Mary's support, I do not know if any of this would have been possible. They both are a blessing from God!

"I talk to my dad on the phone very little. This is the first time in 10 years that he called to wish me a happy birthday. I have a reunion with the Sufka family at Christmas. This year, I plan on going. I'm sure I'll see him.

"I wish my mom was still around so I could hug her and tell her I'm sorry, and that I love her. I have to believe that somehow she knows this and is at peace."

Making Things Right Again.

Korey Sufka holds a picture of his mother who died several years ago. Sufka now works as a mentor program coordinator for Central Minnesota Re-Entry Project. 

By Mick Hatten St. Cloud Times Article Published October 7th, 2008.

Susan LaSota saw what was happening but supported her son, Korey Sufka. 

What she cannot see is how Sufka is working on redemption. She died July 3, 2005, after a long battle with multiple sclerosis. 

“If I could open myself internally and show you the amount of pain that I have every day (because) my mom never got a chance to see who I am today physically, I’m sure nobody on earth would ever choose to live the life that I have lived,” Sufka said.

But that was Sufka’s old life, and the one he lives today is about help and hope. 

He acknowledges his new life is a work in progress, and he is excited to help motivate others live a better life.

Sufka, 31, lives in St. Cloud and works as a mentor program coordinator for Central Minnesota Re-Entry Project. The project helps former inmates rejoin society after serving jail or prison sentences. Sufka recruits and trains volunteers to help former offenders transition back into society.

He often appeals to potential volunteers by telling his story. During presentations he speaks to people about programming their mind to always making good choices, and motivates them to help others. "That is what life is all about", Sufka says.

“I feel blessed to have a job with the Re-Entry Project where I can have the opportunity to place positive people in these people’s lives, to try to lower the recidivism rate for our communities,” he said. 

He wants to let them know death is permanent and you only have one set of parents.

“I feel it’s my passion or my purpose in life, to carry my personal story to as many people as I can,” Sufka said.

Turning point

Sufka learned of his mother’s death and was devestated.

“My mom loved me up until her last breath, with all of her being,” he said.

Sufka says he was working on making positive changes before his mother passed away. LaSota’s death, though, may have provided him with the lasting inspiration to take what he has to offer others to the next level.

“My mom dying was a huge wake-up call,” he said. “I still yearn for that one day where I can sit alongside my mom and she can see me.”

Carol Tembreull (Co-Founder of the Central MN Re-Entry Project) has known Sufka for about five years. She is on the Re-Entry Project’s board of directors and got to know Sufka while volunteering for various programs throughout the community and has heard Korey share his story on several occasions.

“He’s told me that all he can think about is that (his mother) sees him now and that her prayers were answered,” Tembreull said. “He has a picture of her by his desk.”

The beginning

Sufka said his parents’ divorce, moving out of his hometown of Royalton and depression were factors in him making poor choices when he was a teenager. He moved with LaSota to Sauk Rapids after the divorce. The transition was difficult for Sufka, whose two older siblings were already out of the house.

“I think every kid’s nightmare is moving from a class of 35 classmates to a class of 300 classmates,” Sufka said. “I was teased at school. Then I’ve got issues at home, no father. I remember crying that I didn’t want to go to school. I felt unloved and uncared about.”

Sufka and his father, Richard, have had limited contact since the divorce. After the move, he quit football, baseball and wrestling. He made friends with classmates in similar situations and began making bad choices.

“They were from divorced families or dysfunctional situations,” he said. “We kind of formed a group and started making poor choices.”

He and his mother lived in apartments, and the first thing he did when they moved was to remove his bedroom window screen so he could sneak out. With LaSota ill and working full-time for St. Cloud State University, he took advantage of his situation.

“My mom was in a wheelchair, so if she said, ‘You’re not going out with your friends tonight,’ I was pretty much, ‘How are you going to stop me?’” he said. “My mom was focused on work and the disease was rapidly eating away at her.”

Sufka said his daughter Kaileigh Sufka has asked him if there has ever been a perfect person. He tells her there has not, which she replied that she thought her dad was perfect!

“I tell people that our kids view us as perfect. You’ve got to keep this in mind. ... You are forming what she thinks perfect is as a father,” he said.

“I tell others that just because they might not being doing the right thing with their life, don’t for one second think your kids don’t need you. Most are thinking you are the perfect father.”

Sufka now shares custody of Kaileigh.

Looking forward

Sufka stands about 6 feet tall and weighs about 185 pounds. 

While working full time at the Central MN Re-Entry Project he has founded several foundations. It helped replace some of the emptiness he felt.

"You either think of being a better person or ways to beat the system, or you think about ways to make better choices and never go back, I choose to help others."

“I had never read a book in my entire life. Through the last year-and-a-half I read over 150 books, which helps me do what I do...I motivate others through various lessons that I lived through to live a better life.”

Included in his reading were books on drug/alcohol abuse, determination, motivation, success, and finding your purpose. After he met the Central MN Re-Entry Project's Director Joe Gibbons through an organization he spoke to, he shared what he had learned.

“Because of that, I got involved in Stearns and Benton County Meth Coalition,” Gibbons said.

The coalition started in 2005 out of community concern with the growing visibility of methamphetamine use.

“He’ll say, ‘I made this choice and this is what that choice looks like', Tembreull said of Sufka’s presentation. “He does that, which drives home his various points when he speaks.

“Then he says that it wasn’t until he found his faith and realized what his purpose was in life that his life has been going much better for him,” Tembreull said. There’s always such a connection with the groups he talks to.”

With his new job and his career as a motivational speaker and author, Sufka has become a role model to others, Gibbons said.

“Korey is reaching out to everyone and trying to get everyone to improve their lives,” Gibbons said. 

Korey's daughter, Kaileigh Sufka shows off some of her Dad's newspaper articles! 

Reader's Comments:

"Mick Hatton should be commended for doing such a fine job in journalism. The article was totally unbiased and forthright. As for Korey, you don't need to live the rest of your life trying to prove yourself to family and friends, your actions speak for themselves. Your mother would be proud and I would be proud to be your friend." 

"Korey I applaud your turn around and I am sure your mother is proud of you."

"Korey I must say that I am proud of you for everything that you do. It takes a lot to tell a person about your struggles, but to tell people everyday and a whole community what you have went through, that is amazing to me!"

"Korey I pray that you stand tall, your mom would want nothing more than to see you this day. She was a proud woman and I know that she is looking down with heavenly smiles."

"Korey glad to see that you have taken some steps into making yourself a better person and attempting to help others who have made poor choices at some point in their life."

"Good for you Korey! Don't believe for a minute that your mom can't see what you are doing...she knows and she is proud."

"Korey I think you are definitely moving in the right direction."

"Korey--Thank you for this story. You are a role model to all who have been through hell and made it back, and hopefully you can help prevent others from going that far off track."

"The longest journeys start with one step, and although I don't know Korey personally, I am inspired by his story and by the courage it must have taken to allow his story to be told publicly. I have a feeling that this man will do enormous good for all of society."

"Korey is an inspiring story. I hope that he can continue to build that life. Congratulations to you Korey and keep working it one day at a time."

"It's so nice to see a positive story on here so early in the morning. Kudos to you Korey. These kinds of stories aren't always easy to tell, but when you realize how many people need to hear them. Keep up the good work, you really are making a difference."

"Korey thank you for sharing that. I actually went to school with you and your brother and sister. I am sorry to hear about your mother. I hope the rest of your life is filled with joy and happiness."

"Thank you for sharing your story, Korey, and I admire your ability to distill honey from the gall of your circumstances. You have not only vision, but the courage to put it into action. You have inspired me, and I wish Godspeed to you in all your ventures."

"What an inspiring story. People need to find something in their lives to inspire them to do good. This is a role model example."

"Korey...you are a very inspiring person. The hurdles you overcame should be an inspiration to everyone. We all have hurdles in our lives, but you have shown that it is possible to turn them in to a positive motivator for everyone. Believe me, your mother is looking down at you beaming with pride and joy. She knew you had it in you, she knew you would be back, she knows you will be okay...you should be proud of yourself, she sure is..."

"WOW!!! Thanks for sharing, you are doing the right thing today and your mother is proud of you along the with your entire family and friends I am sure."